I Need A Liver Transplant
Shannon Spaunburg wrote
"Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination, our purpose in life. The road will not always be smooth; in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many challenges."
This time is one of hardship, heartache and challenge. You see, my junior year of high school (5 years ago) I was diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the liver. The doctors were stumped for over a year trying to figure out what was wrong. I went from doctor to doctor, from pokes every week, to CT scans and MRI's to scopes and biopsies. You name it, they tested it! When they did figure out it was Cirrhosis, they were still stumped! They had never seen someone my age (17) and with my family health background (liver-disease free) get Cirrhosis before. Dr. Dickinsen, a doctor I grew up with and know very well, told me I was born with it. He became my liver specialist. I got a call from him yesterday evening. He doesn't normally work Sunday's so I knew something was wrong when I saw his name appear on my caller ID. He told me some disheartening news. My liver has significantly worsened over the last couple of years. My Cirrhosis has gone from bad to worse, meaning I will, sometime in the near future, be needing a transplant. I also have Esophageal Varices. And won't be able to have children until I have recovered fully from the transplant. This news took me by surprise, because the first 3 years, I was plateaued. Nothing was changing.
Sometimes life throws curves balls our way. This is one of many that I will have to live with. I'm still in shock and am very scared to see what this journey holds for me and my family... More scared than I ever have been in my life. I have so many people who love and care for me. I feel so blessed to have them and know that I am not alone in the journey towards a new liver. Although, somehow, it does feel like a lonely one. This is why I have chosen to start writing my feelings here. I'm hoping someone who has to go through this someday will stumble upon my blog and see that they are not alone, that they can make it through. It is also my hope that the people who love and care about me will be able to read and understand what I'm going through. That way I'm not alone either...
Shannon Spaunburg also wrote the following;
"When things don't always go our way, we have two choices in dealing with the situations. We can focus on the fact that things didn't go how we had hoped they would and let life pass us by, or two, we can make the best out of the situation and know that these are only temporary setbacks and find the lessons that are to be learned."
I have a choice, here and now, to be positive through this or to be negative. This is a concept I have been taught all my life by my wonderful mother. There are two ways to handle every situation. If I allow myself to sit here and take pity on myself and ask why, I will be missing out on things in life that are worth living for. I have so many things to be grateful for. And I know this will make me stronger. I can do hard things. I can take this hardship, this trial, this temporary setback and I can smile through it. This is my journey! And it will be one full of happiness. That is my choice.
"Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination, our purpose in life. The road will not always be smooth; in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many challenges."
This time is one of hardship, heartache and challenge. You see, my junior year of high school (5 years ago) I was diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the liver. The doctors were stumped for over a year trying to figure out what was wrong. I went from doctor to doctor, from pokes every week, to CT scans and MRI's to scopes and biopsies. You name it, they tested it! When they did figure out it was Cirrhosis, they were still stumped! They had never seen someone my age (17) and with my family health background (liver-disease free) get Cirrhosis before. Dr. Dickinsen, a doctor I grew up with and know very well, told me I was born with it. He became my liver specialist. I got a call from him yesterday evening. He doesn't normally work Sunday's so I knew something was wrong when I saw his name appear on my caller ID. He told me some disheartening news. My liver has significantly worsened over the last couple of years. My Cirrhosis has gone from bad to worse, meaning I will, sometime in the near future, be needing a transplant. I also have Esophageal Varices. And won't be able to have children until I have recovered fully from the transplant. This news took me by surprise, because the first 3 years, I was plateaued. Nothing was changing.
Sometimes life throws curves balls our way. This is one of many that I will have to live with. I'm still in shock and am very scared to see what this journey holds for me and my family... More scared than I ever have been in my life. I have so many people who love and care for me. I feel so blessed to have them and know that I am not alone in the journey towards a new liver. Although, somehow, it does feel like a lonely one. This is why I have chosen to start writing my feelings here. I'm hoping someone who has to go through this someday will stumble upon my blog and see that they are not alone, that they can make it through. It is also my hope that the people who love and care about me will be able to read and understand what I'm going through. That way I'm not alone either...
Shannon Spaunburg also wrote the following;
"When things don't always go our way, we have two choices in dealing with the situations. We can focus on the fact that things didn't go how we had hoped they would and let life pass us by, or two, we can make the best out of the situation and know that these are only temporary setbacks and find the lessons that are to be learned."
I have a choice, here and now, to be positive through this or to be negative. This is a concept I have been taught all my life by my wonderful mother. There are two ways to handle every situation. If I allow myself to sit here and take pity on myself and ask why, I will be missing out on things in life that are worth living for. I have so many things to be grateful for. And I know this will make me stronger. I can do hard things. I can take this hardship, this trial, this temporary setback and I can smile through it. This is my journey! And it will be one full of happiness. That is my choice.
Hey girl! I'm so so so sorry for what you have to go through! I have never been through something like this. However, I can tell you that the quote you posted is true. When my dad passed away right after I turned sixteen I remember sitting in the car thinking similar to that quote: I had a choice right then to either use that trial as an excuse to be mediocre in life, or to use it as motivation to beat the odds of what might be expected of me. You're such a beautiful, talented, and confident girl. I really look up to you for that! I know I haven't seen you since my wedding, but really. Whatever you need, please tell me! Even if it's just something really small. You're great. Thanks for inspiring me :) Love you!
ReplyDeleteSending my love and prayers, Natalie. You can do this.
ReplyDeleteWow. Cheryl and I will be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteyou made me cry. i love you and your spunky-full of life-self! you will make it through this- and we are here for you. love you so much!!!
ReplyDeleteNat!!!
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen you in yonks and all I want to say is that I love you!!! For someone I haven't seen in almost ten years I think about you quite often. Looking back I realize how you were such a good friend, and positive influence to me; and even though I treated you horribly, you were always lovely. I'm so sorry and wish with every part of me that I could take all those silly childish mean things back. I want you to know that you'll always hold a special place in my heart, as you (especially a certain card and book you gave me) were instrumental to building my testimony of the gospel. Anyways before I start explaining my whole life here I just want to say that I'm happy and grateful that I found your blog. You're the kind of person that gets their happiness all over others. So although your struggle is a sad and tough one; I know your posts will be so full of happiness and so full of life that it'll strengthen me and make me happy as well. I'm praying for you Nat, I know you'll come out on top! Thank you for sharing your journey!
I'm cheering for you!!!
-Liz